


Just The Two Of Us

by sal_si_puedes



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_si_puedes/pseuds/sal_si_puedes
Summary: When Harvey doesn't show up in time for Mike and Rachel's wedding ceremony despite him being Best Man and despite the event set to take place in his very own condo, Mike goes searching for him.





	Just The Two Of Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lawsonpines13](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lawsonpines13).



> lawsonpines13, you were in the mood for some h/c. This is for you!!!!

„Harvey?“

Mike pulls the sliding doors to the bedroom open carefully, tentatively peeking inside. Harvey should have been out and at his side fifteen minutes ago, and a sinking feeling is starting to build in Mike’s stomach.

The bedroom appears to be empty, so Mike guesses Harvey has to be in the adjacent bathroom, to which the door is closed.

He steps into the bedroom and closes the doors behind him, his hands meeting behind his back.

The voices of the guests, his friends and colleagues, vivid, up-beat chatter and laughter, seep through the doors, but they fade away more and more with every step Mike takes towards the bathroom, listening closely.

“Harvey?“

“No.”

One word, coming like a bark through the closed bathroom door.

“Harvey, what—“

“Not now.”

Harvey’s voice sounds husky and strangely out of breath, and Mike places his palm against the door and tilts his head. It sounds as if Harvey is pacing back and forth inside, quickly at first and then slowing down.

“What do you mean, _not now_? The ceremony is about to start and—“

A muttered curse and a dull, thudding noise cut short Mike’s question, and then there is the distinct sound of someone throwing up. 

“Shit.”

Mike yanks the door open and looks around, only to find Harvey standing slightly hunched over the toilet, clearing his throat and spitting into the bowl to the sound of the water flushing down. When he straightens his back he looks haggard and sweaty, his tie loosened and the button of his dress shirt’s collar undone.

“I can’t breathe,” he croaks and tears at the knot of his tie with trembling fingers, his face pale and sallow. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is tousled, as if he has been raking it with his fingers over and over again.

He steps backwards and feels for the wall behind him, his hand reaching out blindly until it touches the marble tiles. 

Mike can see how Harvey’s knees buckle and he starts to slide down the wall, and he’s at Harvey’s side in the blink of an eye, guiding him downwards and steadying him as best as he can. He kneels next to him, one hand resting on his shoulder, just very, very lightly.

“Harvey?”

“I can’t—“ Harvey coughs, his fingers frantically pulling at the knot of his tie. “Can’t breathe… I—I can’t see—shit—“ His head lolls back and hits the wall heavily, the sound of his skull against the marble almost like a gunshot in Mike’s ears.

“Harvey, calm down.” For a moment there Mike thinks Harvey might pass out, he’s panting so hard that he’s almost hyperventilating and his chest seems to be far too expanded. “Breathe slowly, come on…”

Harvey groans and shakes his head rapidly, as if there is something covering his eyes that he’s desperate to get rid of. “I’m—“

“Come on, you can do it,” Mike murmurs, stroking his hand down Harvey’s arm in what he hopes is a reassuring, calming manner. “Slow, even breaths, come on…”

Harvey shakes his head again, but his breathing does slow down a little and he swallows heavily.

“I—“

“Shhhh,” Mike soothes. “Don’t—just calm down a bit, okay? Calm down a bit for me…”

“Okay,” Harvey whispers, his voice trembling with the effort. 

Mike reaches for his hand, and it’s cold and clammy. He can see the vein bulging at Harvey’s throat, his pulse rapidly beating, and his chest is still heaving with the struggle for air.

“That’s it,” Mike nods, taking Harvey’s hand in his. “See? That’s it…”

Harvey takes a deep, shuddering breath and licks his lips. He takes another one and then he opens his eyes, staring at the ceiling.

“I can’t do it,” he says flatly, his voice still a little raw. He shakes his head almost surreptitiously. “I can’t.”

“What?” Mike tries to make his words sound warm and kind, but he suspects that he can’t hide how worried he is, how terrified.

“This.” Harvey points towards the bathroom door with his chin and shakes his head. “I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“What, Harvey?” 

When Harvey only shakes his head again, Mike scoots a little closer. “You can tell me, you know?”

“This,” Harvey says again and lets his eyes flutter shut once more. “The wedding.”

“Oh…” Mike sits back on his heels and stares at Harvey. “Do you mean—“

“Be your best man,” Harvey interrupts without opening his eyes. “I can’t do it. I can’t wa— _Shit_ —“

Choking on his saliva, he coughs and tears his hand from Mike’s grip. He swallows against the rising bile in his throat again and again. A pained groan falls from his lips and the next moment he’s on his knees and vomiting into the toilet again, his whole body shaking with the force of it. When he’s done, he blindly reaches for the flush and falls into a half-kneeling, half-sitting position right there and then, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket.

A shiver runs through him and then another one and another, each more violent than the one before, until his whole body is trembling and he hiccups. His lips press together tightly until they’re nothing more than a thin white line, and Mike can see the muscles in his jaws working rapidly.

“Come on,” he says and scrambles to his feet again. “You’ve got to get up from that floor. It’s too cold, you need to get warm.”

Harvey shakes his head, his whole body tense and shaking, but he lets Mike help him up and steady him when he sways and staggers.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Mike says and reaches for the lapel of Harvey’s jacket.

Harvey is shaking so hard that it takes Mike a very long time to get him out of his shoes and clothes and while Harvey isn’t much of a help he still lets Mike do that.

When Mike has him undressed to his boxer briefs, white t-shirt and socks, he lets Mike guide him into the bedroom, the chatter of the guests in the living room suddenly all the louder. Harvey frowns, but Mike just guides him towards the bed and nods.

“Don’t worry about them. It’s just the two of us… Come on, just get under the covers. Here...” He holds them up for Harvey and watches how Harvey climbs into bed, closes his eyes and curls up on his side, facing away from Mike.

Harvey is still shaking and it seems to get worse by the second, so all Mike knows to do is to shrug off his own jacket, let it drop onto one of the chairs, and kick off his shoes before he slips under the covers as well and scoots up to where Harvey is lying. He gathers Harvey into his arms as good as he can, but Harvey is stiff and tense with the shivers still racking through him, and Mike can hear how his teeth are clattering. He lifts his head a little and steals a look at Harvey’s face. Harvey’s eyes are squeezed shut tightly and he’s biting his lips, his skin sweaty and almost ghostly white.

“Hey,” Mike murmurs soothingly, lying down again. He gently runs the tip of his nose along Harvey’s sweaty hairline. “Relax. It’s okay. Just us two, I promise. You don’t have to, it’s okay…”

Harvey groans again and the shaking, that has just begun to subside a little, is back with full force.

Mike curses himself inwardly, tightening his hold on Harvey just the slightest bit.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs again, giving his voice a very faint sing-song note. “I’ve got you, it’s okay…”

And when the shivering still doesn’t cease, he gently nuzzles at Harvey’s neck again. He doesn’t want to add to whatever is going on inside of Harvey’s mind, but even though he knows what this is, even though he knows what is happening, he’s sick with worry and fear.

“Harvey, you’re really scaring me… It feels as if you’re going into shock, and I don’t know what to do. Please try to calm down a bit. If the shaking doesn’t stop I’ll have to call 911.”

It’s almost like a switch being flipped over. Harvey’s body stills almost instantly and relaxes in Mike’s arms, and Harvey releases a long, shuddering breath. 

“There you go,” Mike murmurs, exhaling as well. “That’s it, there you go…”

It feels as if all energy has been drained from Harvey, he feels heavy against Mike’s chest, almost like a stone. But he’s getting a little warmer, and with every breath he takes his body relaxes a little more. 

Mike’s eyes are closed as well and it takes him a while to realize that he’s constantly murmuring something, encouragement maybe, reassurance, praise, he doesn’t know, or just calming nonsense, or he’s just humming, and that at some point of time he must have started to kiss Harvey’s skin, small, tender kisses, almost unconsciously placed along Harvey’s hairline and along his neck. He doesn’t even try to stop when he notices what he’s doing, not even when the doors slide open and there’s suddenly a voice in the room, a question.

“Mike?”

It has to be Rachel, Mike thinks, it sounds like Rachel, but he can’t open his eyes, he can’t look up, not even when Harvey tenses in his arms, not even then.

“Wha—“

Mike imagines Rachel freezing to the spot, her eyes wide open and her mouth slightly agape.

“Oh…”

There is a short period of silence, and then the doors slide shut again with a swoosh, and the murmur on the other side of them dies down.

“She saw,” Harvey whispers, and Mike just hums in response. “She saw us.”

“I know,” Mike whispers, stroking his fingers over Harvey’s chest gently. “Don’t worry about it.”

“She’ll think—“

“No,” Mike interrupts, shaking his head. Harvey’s hair tickles against his lips. “No she won’t. Because she knows you’d _never_ do anything like that.”

After that, Harvey doesn’t say anything anymore and Mike continues his ministrations for god knows how long until Harvey finally, finally falls asleep. Mike holds him for a long time after, just holds him close and listens to his evened-out breathing before he disentangles himself from underneath the covers and texts Rachel. He takes a leak and grabs his jacket, slipping back into his shoes.

He’ll meet her downstairs in twenty, that’s what she’s texted back.

He finds her in the back of the diner next door, sitting at a table in the very corner, a cup of black coffee in front of her, untouched.

She has changed into jeans and a black turtle neck sweater and she’s also washed off her make-up. She looks pale.

When she looks up, her eyes are wide and glittering.

“Rach,” he says and pulls out the chair to sit down opposite of her.

She nods once and bites her lips.

“How is he?”

“He’s asleep,” Mike replies, his voice small and thin. He checks his watch. “I don’t want to leave him alone for too long.”

She nods again and draws a deep breath.

“You love him.”

Mike stares at his hands for a moment before he looks up again.

“I love you, too.”

“I know,” she replies and bites her lips again before she continues to speak. “But not like that. Not like him.”

“No.”

The silence between then weighs heavily and stretches out until it fills the whole diner. There is no place to hide now in that silence of truth.

“I’m sorry. Rach, I—“

“I know,” she says and two silent tears roll down her cheeks.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Look, Mike,” she says after a pause, her voice trembling. “It’s not your fault. I know you didn’t want this. I know you tried, you really did, and he—“ She falls silent and blinks. Two more tears leave wet traces on her skin. “I’m not mad at you. Well, I am, but not really. I’m hurt, heart-broken, lost. I love you, Mike. I love you so much, but that’s not enough. Is it?”

Another long, lingering silence envelops them, and it takes almost superhuman effort to break it.

“What are we going to do?” Mike asks, his words not much more than a whisper, and Rachel shrugs.

She wipes her eyes and presses her lips together, sniffling.

“Well, I, for one, I’m going to get drunk with Donna. And you—“ She reaches across the table for his hand but withdraws again before her fingers meet his skin. “You go back to him. You be with him. You _tell_ him. Okay?”

Mike nods, unable to form another word. 

Rachel nods back, fishes a bank note from her handbag and drops it onto the table. Then she gets up and leaves without looking back again.

It’s getting dark when Mike leaves the diner and walks back to Harvey’s lobby. It’s going to be dark inside the condo now, and there will still be empty glasses and trays of food everywhere, flowers, too, but Mike will take care of all of that tomorrow. They will.

He takes his shoes off as soon as he’s inside the condo and dresses down to his underpants and t-shirt in the living room, leaving his clothes on the couch. 

Harvey is still asleep when Mike opens the doors to the bedroom again as quietly as he can and he doesn’t wake up either when Mike slips back under the covers.

Only when Mike moves close to him, gathering him into his arms again, does he stir.

“You came back,” he murmurs, his eyes still closed. He sounds thirsty, Mike thinks.

“Yeah,” he breathes and kisses Harvey’s neck again. “I did.”

“They all…” Harvey exhales slowly and Mike wonders if Harvey woke up while he was gone. Harvey is warm now and he smells more of sleep than of sweat. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Mike asks and Harvey shakes his head. 

“Later.”

“Okay,” Mike says and he can feel how a smile begins to form on his face. “But don’t forget to let me know when.”

Harvey nods and brings his hand up to his chest. He laces his fingers with Mike’s and exhales.

“What—Did you see Rachel?” he asks and his thumb gently runs over the back of Mike’s hand.

“Yeah. It’s over.”

Harvey swallows and exhales again, a little less pained this time. “I’m sorry,” he says and Mike nods.

“Let’s get some sleep,” he says, pulling Harvey closer, and Harvey brings their hands up and places a soft kiss onto Mike’s knuckles before he nods.

“I thought you were gone.”

“I know,” Mike whispers into Harvey’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

Harvey’s lips brush over his knuckles and he takes a deep breath, drinking in Harvey’s scent. 

“I never meant for this to happen.”

“I know.” Mike sighs. “But I’m glad it did.”

He slowly sinks into sleep, Harvey warm against his chest. It’s the best he has slept in months.

 

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [sal-si-puedes](http://sal-si-puedes.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Come and say "Hi!"!


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